It’s been quite awhile since I’ve had any excremental disasters, and I kind of liked it. Okay, I liked it quite a bit. But in the back of my mind I knew I wasn’t out of the woods yet.

Enter Wednesday night.

I’m happily doing the dishes when I hear Greyson scream from the great room “It’s coming out!”

I paused for a moment but continued to place the plate I was holding in the dishwasher.

Next I heard him scream “It’s on you!” followed immediately by Traci in a freaked out voice shouting “oh my god.”

At this, I turned off the water and picked up the paper towel roll and headed into the great room.

What I saw put me in mind of those scenes in movies where the characters says “we’re going to need a bigger gun.” My little roll of paper towels was no where near sufficient for what was awaiting me.

Traci was trying to stand up and hard a large patch of wet sticky brown stuff on her leg. Greyson was 6 feet away pointing and freaking out and Declan…..Declan was standing with his but in the air, bent over touching the ground with his hands. Poop rose up out of his diaper and up his back and was clearly all over his jeans and his shirt, as well as Traci’s leg.

I set down my useless paper towel roll and scooped up Declan, keeping him in the bent over posture.

I then deposited him into the shower in the hallway bath, full clothed, turned on the water and pondered how to handle this while getting the least amount of poop on me and scattered around the shower.

A quick run down of mental simulations indicated it simply wasn’t possible. I’d have to reconcile myself to a new experience….The shower of poop!

I won’t go into the gory details, but in the end I was in the shower with Declan in my underwear (there are limits to what areas I’m willing to accept poop coverage on) and took quite a while to cleanse, him, his clothes, me and the walls of poop.

Hopefully this fulfills my excrement adventure mandate for his remaining diaper years.